Terri Rimmer

TEXAS Advance Directive Planning for Important Healthcare Decisions Caring Connections, 1700 Diagonal Road, Suite 625, Alexandria, VA 22314 www.caringinfo.org, 800/658-8898 Caring Connections, a program of the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization (NHPCO), is a national consumer engagement initiative to improve care at the end of life, supported by a grant from The Robert Wood Johnson Foundation. The goal of Caring Connections is for consumers to hear a unified message promoting awareness and action for improved end-of-life care. Through these efforts, NHPCO seeks to support those working across the country to improve end-of-life care and conditions for all Americans. Caring Connections tracks and monitors all state and federal legislation and significant court cases related to end-of-life care to ensure that our advance directives are always up to date. CARING CONNECTIONS HelpLine You can call our toll-free HelpLine, 800/658-8898, if you have any difficulty understanding y...

By Cindy Persico Like most of us I struggle with the concept of “Higher Power” or H.P. and my understanding has grown thankfully over the years that on most days I can feel centered and well-cared for by this Higher Power thanks to Alanon. That isn’t always the case. In 2003 my brother-in-law was killed in a car accident. Watching my sister, Joy, struggle with her grief has been particularly painful and has called into question again how to make sense out of things that seem so senseless. What good can come from this? Hello, God, Are you still there? Will you take care of Joy? She’s so scared and sure this isn’t what should be happening at all. One day I had to take Eunice, my cat, to the vet. She shivered, and shook, and cried, certain this couldn’t possibly be what should be happening at all. I reassured her as best I could; yet again had a flash that this is exactly how life feels sometimes. I’m sure that whatever is happening is all wrong and yet it’s the best thing for my growth, ...

By Terri Rimmer Today was the day she stopped taking it. Stopped being kicked around, punched in the gut, and driven to the bottom of the barrel, settling for crumbs. She treated her dog better than she let people treat her. The phone had rang too early that morning. As she heard the machine pick up and the dreaded expectation and realization of her new publisher’s voice come across the tape she told herself she would not pick it up. She did not want to deal with this woman today.

By Terri Rimmer Monica looks normal. Pretty, young, grandma (though she doesn’t look it), full-time employee, exotic looking she tempts the desires of her newfound friend Mark. But as she tells her story you realize how deceiving looks can be. “I had part of my liver removed because of liver cancer but that didn’t stop me from drinking,” she begins. “Not even going through chemo though I didn’t drink when I was pregnant with my two girls. But then I went back to drinking. Nothing stopped me from drinking.” Until a week ago when she heard her 23-year-old daughter talking to her friend on the phone. Her daughter told her friend, “I won’t ever drink because my mom is going to die from drinking. She’s going to wind up with cirrhosis of the liver.” “She doesn’t know I heard her say that,” said Monica. “That’s when I made the decision to never drink again.” At the Manhattan Alcohol and Substance Abuse Treatment Center, one of the first treatment centers in New York State that recognized the ...

We've ran through sprinklers carving our hearts on each other's souls. We saw tears become smiles that our dreams make a reality. We’ve seen each other through the pain, crawled, walked, and then ran to visualizations beyond us. My older sister Cindy held my hand till the trauma of a day became the peace of a new tomorrow. Hoping to grow old holding onto memories like fireflies we used to catch in jars releasing them later lovingly. Our younger years yawned into spreading teenaged crushes, hopes, and vision into our 20s feeling our way through hopes and goals among the brighter stars. Before we could blink there was our 30s as we let go of a crumpled past. We talk like there's no tomorrow neither time nor distance or difficulties stop our hearts from being intertwined into the bond that yesterday's failures or success could break apart and sever our ties. She turned 40 two years ago and next there's me. When did we think this was so old? She spreads hope and even th...

Month 1 – Baby is smaller than the size of a grain of rice and weighs less than 1 ounce. By the end of the first month her heart is beating and the brain, nervous system, arms, and legs are starting to form. Month 2 - The baby is smaller than the size of a grape. She is now one inch long and her major organs (heart, lungs) are fully formed. Her arms, legs, and fingers can move and her ankles, ears, and wrists are formed. Month 3 – The baby is as long as a pickle and is now 4 inches long and weighs a little more than an ounce. Her teeth start developing and the mom may hear her heartbeat for the first time. Month 4 – The baby is as long as a carrot and 6-7 inches long, weighing 5 ounces. She has eyelashes and eyebrows and kicks, moves, and swallows. Month 5 – The baby is as long as an eggplant and is 8-12 inches long, weighing ½ to 1 pound. She sleeps and wakes up and has fingernails now. Month 6 – The baby is as long as a pineapple and is 11-14 inches long, weighing 1-1 ½ pounds. Her ...

Dear McKenna: Yes, it's time for your annual Thanksgiving letter again. Right now you're only four years old and you really won't read this till you're much older but there's lots to tell you about what's going on in the world around you. There are many things to be thankful for. I'm thankful that you are in a good, safe, fun home with great parents who take amazing care of you. I'm thankful that I get pictures, letters, cards, emails, and videos of you. I'm thankful that I have gotten to see you several times since your birth, after placing you with your new parents and thinking that was it till you were 18. I'm thankful that you are getting to take dance lessons and that you're improving in food therapy. I'm thankful that you have no worries and that so far your life has been fantastic. I'm thankful that after four years it's no longer so painful to think of being away from you. There are all kinds of moms - birth moms, adoptive...

If it weren't for my dog I couldn't get through this crap.

By Terri Rimmer Violence is the second leading cause of death among young people ages 11-19. At Santa Fe Adolescent Services’ Second Step Violence Prevention Program in Fort Worth, TX kids learn empathy, impulse control, anger management, and problem solving. Second Step is a series of lessons which addresses the problem of violence among teenagers. The goal and objective of the program is to reduce impulsive and aggressive behavior, learn skills to get along with others, and develop new skills. Empathy describes how to identify and understand their own emotions and those of others, impulse control describes how to control impulse and emphasizes skills for social problem solving, and anger management describes how to understand and control anger in a healthy way. According to the agency empathy is important in developing positive behaviors and decreases the use of violent behaviors as a means of problem solving. Seventeen schools participate in the program. The large majority of victim...

My boyfriend died on New Year's Eve but I didn't find out till last Wed. Everyone keeps trying to get me to "move on" but they don't know what it's like to be in paralysis from missing him, to cry every time I lay down, to not care if I live or die.

Love is holding hands through the rain even when not speaking. Feeling each other’s breath from far away. Knowing that no matter what, you would die for this person. Sacrifice, losing all inhibitions, walking away from old life into new. Love is grasping at straws to make sense of the world, unity in even the smallest rhythms, feeling one shrink at the sound of the other’s pain, knowing that person inside and out. Love is big, bigger than life, cannot be contained in a single thought. Love is what happens when the predictable and expected is swept away. Love is the answer to so many things. Love is the joy in a newborn’s smile, the softness of a mother’s womb, feeling yourself up through just being together, summer time in your soul and autumn in your heart. Love is a gentle stirring, yet explosive as a volcano. Love can’t be questioned, or judged, or doubted. Love is a certainty between a mother and child, a father coaching his son’s team, a sibling smiling down. Love is the battle w...

Make amends See McKenna get married and have a child Take better care of my pets Get books published Skydive Take flying lessons and get my license Go to Europe, Australia, Greece, Holland, Mexico See the world Take belly dancing Take horseback riding lessons Get a horse Lose weight and keep it off Remodel house Hang glide Go to San Fran Finish school Remarry Give to more charities Start my own business Start my own magazine Take photography lessons Take salsa lessons Get rid of clutter Get digital camera, camcorder Transfer videos to DVDs See Bruce Springsteen, Bonnie Raitt, The Stones, Sarah McLachlan in concert See Sheryl Crowe in concert Get my asthma under control Learn to play the piano Overcome my fears Be able to live and pay my bills without having to be on disability Have money in the bank Get a boat Overcome my abuse Overcome the past Learn to meditate and do it daily Be cured of my allergies Not have to take anti-depressants

By Terri Rimmer When I was growing up in the 70s my friends and I spent a lot of time outside. My best friend Kristina who lived next door created a whole “town” in her amazing backyard with our imagination. I envied her her yard full of all kinds of trees like dogwoods where we could lay under the branches and look up at the sun peeking through the leaves. She had a brook or creek in her backyard too and through a cluster of honeysuckle bushes we’d suck on the sweet nectar throwing the petals on the ground, then venture across the water using a branch in the shape of a gate which we aptly named as entryway into our make-believe land. We’d play all day and in the front yard we would concoct “salads” we didn’t eat made from grass, dandelions, flowers, and weeds – virtually anything we could find in nature’s garden. We’d take slugs and poke them to death with rusty nails while chanting a mantra we made up. We were real tomboys and ran around with no shirts. We were still the age that we ...