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November 11, 2004

Dear McKenna:

Yes, it's time for your annual Thanksgiving letter again.

Right now you're only four years old and you really won't read this till you're much older but there's lots to tell you about what's going on in the world around you.

There are many things to be thankful for. I'm thankful that you are in a good, safe, fun home with great parents who take amazing care of you. I'm thankful that I get pictures, letters, cards, emails, and videos of you. I'm thankful that I have gotten to see you several times since your birth, after placing you with your new parents and thinking that was it till you were 18. I'm thankful that you are getting to take dance lessons and that you're improving in food therapy. I'm thankful that you have no worries and that so far your life has been fantastic.

I'm thankful that after four years it's no longer so painful to think of being away from you. There are all kinds of moms - birth moms, adoptive moms, biological moms, surrogate moms, step moms, mother figures. There is more to being a mom than just a name. And I'm thankful that I know now deep in my heart that I can still be a good mom even though I don't raise you.

Something happens inside a person when they become a mom. You don't see things the same way any more. All the sudden, when you didn't slow down in school zones while driving, suddenly you do. When women talk about mom stuff, you relate. Now as a mom you're part of a society of moms so to speak.

At the time of your birth I never thought I'd be here in four years, sitting in a house, watching "Finding Nemo," and anticipating the holidays, peaceful, reflective, marveling at my new home with your pictures lining the walls and shelves. Thanking God every day that you got so lucky.

I heard once that sometimes bad things turn out to be good ones only when we're going through the bad we can't see it at the time. When you were placed with your new parents my heart felt like it was being ripped out because I knew I could not raise you and it killed me inside.

But now, though I still wish I could have parented you some way, some how, I am very happy that you have experienced all that you have with the parents you were meant to have. Your adoptive parents are to be admired, respected, and cherished.

They love you very much as do many other people. You are truly blessed.

And for that I am thankful this Thanksgiving.

I love you,



Terri

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